Could You Fall Victim to a Con Artist? Part 1

Con Artist Red Flag 1:
Con artists have many friends and family members but you never seem to meet them
Con artists know that to be effective they have to hide their past. They are smart enough to know that if they come across as "loners", this may raise a red flag with their next victim. They will often go into great detail describing their friends, family members, co-workers, and experiences they had together. In a way, this makes them (the friends and family) "witnesses" to the lies they are telling you, and give the victim of the con artist a false sense of security. They wouldn't lie about their experiences or who they are if you can easily verify their lie by speaking with their friends and family and associates, right? Wrong. You will NEVER meet these people!

Con Artist Red Flag 2:
Con Artists know that you won't give your money to someone that has none of their own so they brag about how much money they have, or will soon have.
The con artist will try to show you how intelligent they are, make you believe they have an education that they don't, have a career and experience that they don't, and have money that they don't. They then, after convincing you of these things, ask you to pick up a tab (of course they will pay you back, they have the money, it is just tied up right now), invite you to join them in a money-making opportunity (they know what they are doing, they are successful, right?) and present it as if you would be a fool to not take this opportunity.

If you are going to be a couple, you have to have trust them, right? They make you feel that if you don't trust them and do what they ask, the relationship is doomed, and it will be YOUR fault because you didn't trust them. They also want to create the illusion that they are always busy, because they have so many things going on, because then it won't seem so strange to the victim that the con artist isn't available to talk, email, phone, or meet. The only thing they are really busy with is another con, involving another VICTIM, who is being told the same things you are.

Con Artist Red Flag 3:
Con Artists make you feel bad or guilty for questioning them.
There is a big difference between making a decision with your head or your heart. They are smart enough to know that if they win your heart, you money will be a piece of cake to snatch from you. The problem with most people is once they have given their heart, they make all decisions following that with their heart, not their head. Always remember money is a BUSINESS decision and must be made with your HEAD.

The nanosecond money is discussed, a background check should be the first investigate tool you use. The con man knows that most people feel guilty or "bad" for doing such things, and count on you not to do it for that reason. There is no harm in verifying the information being given to you, especially where money is concerned. You have a RIGHT to have that information. If you are considering "investing" financially (or with your heart) in a relationship, invest in a background check as well.

Con Artist Red Flag 4:
Inconsistency At the beginning the con artist will come on strong.
They will try to achieve a "fast sell" very quickly. They will talk for hours on the phone, email you constantly, chat with you on the computer, have kind words and compliments and "warm and fuzzies" by the bucketload. As you get closer to giving them what they want, they will pull back on that behavior. First of all it wasn't genuine in the first place, but the con artist knows that by pulling away and being inconsistent they will make you begin to feel insecure, and this would make you more likely to give them what they want! They take the stance of "I have done everything in my power to show you I am genuine, now it is YOUR turn to step up to the plate". In actuality, what DID they really DO??? Nothing, they just talked the talk. It's what they are good at, not how they REALLY feel about you.

When you catch a con artist in a lie he will get VERY angry with you and turn the tables on you. It is not YOU that is allowed to be mad at THEM for lying, it is THEM that are mad at YOU for questioning them. (THIS IS A HUGE RED FLAG) They will also make you all these promises for the future, of how they are going to take care of you, help you, marry you, etc, yet when you bring these things up further down the line they will DENY having ever even SAID it.

Con Artist Red Flag 5:
You are keeping information or lying to friends and family.
If this person IS such a wonderful person, why can't you tell people the truth about them? Because they would get mad? Yes, they would, because they REALLY DO love you and don't want you hurt. If you ever have to hide your relationship or details about it from those who have PROVEN to be trusted, you are actually HELPING the con artist to succeed! The best and easiest way to con is to separate the victim from friends and family that would HELP them, or WARN them. You should be able to tell the truth about your relationship, and if you cannot, it is because you are being conned, taken advantage of, and mistreated. It is time to face the facts.

Background Report Background Report

Internet Dating / Sweetheart Scams

THE SWEETHEART SCAMS

The sweetheart scam is one of the most devastating scams of all. The victim will not only lose money, a car, property, a business, be left responsible for enormous debt, they will often suffer psychologically and emotional.

The sense of betrayal one feels after being a victim of a sweetheart scam can lead to trust issues (and who can blame them?) and feelings of embarrassment, often so bad they won't report the crimes against them. The internet has been a huge help to sweetheart scammers. The internet has helped them cast a much wider net to "catch" their victims, while they use the cloak of anonymity the internet provides to hide their secrets and schemes, and move on to the next victim.

Many men and women have found themselves the victim of a sweetheart scam, and the come from all backgrounds, races, ages, and education levels. Don't think you have to be incredibly nieve to fall for a sweetheart scam, or that it couldn't happen to you. No victim went into it thinking it could happen to them.

These con artists are professionals, and often make these schemes their sole source of income! Most sweetheart scammers are pulling numerous scams at the same time with multiple victims! Almost every victim of a sweetheart scam has found out, after the con artist "disappeared" that they were not alone and that several others were being duped at the same time.

The term "con" comes from the word "confidence". These people are only as good as their ability to make people believe them, trust them, fall in love with them, and give them money. The con artists in these sweetheart scams will either use a "quickie" scam to get short-term fast cash or the more elaborate scams, that take more time and often will even marry the victim! The time they will invest with each victim depends on how much they can get, and how fast, if ever, the victim begins to catch on. They will do, say, or promise you anything because they want you to trust them and believe in them so it is easier to part you with your money.

They will promise you the world - love, marriage, children, dream homes, lifestyles, and business partnerships, anything. The only catch is all the money used to pay for all these things (and so much more !) will have to be provided by you and you alone. They make promises, YOU are required to deliver up front. There are many common scenarios of how the sweetheart scammer will operate, and here is the most common:

Step 1. They will come on strong in the beginning, have tons of time for you, want to speak with you first thing in the morning, and even right before you go to sleep. There will be numerous long phone calls, emails and chats. They will listen to you, size you up and know just what to say to steal your heart. They will often tell you of their dreams, and of course how they either "had it all" or could have had it all but "something" went wrong which is never their fault. (This done for you to feel sorry for them.) They will tell you all about how they never felt this way about anyone, never felt so much so fast, and will talk about being in "love" way too soon. It will be a complete whirlwind romance!

Step 2. They will ask you to help them out financially, whether it is for a loan on a check that is coming "any day" (but never does) or a business deal that is coming through "any minute" (that never does) or a hospital stay, sickness, or some other "emergency". They can also discuss with you buying property to build your "dream home" (isn't that romantic?) or get you to go into business with them because they have been "burned by so many others" but they feel they can totally trust you. (Nope, all part of the scam.)

Step 3. If you don't hurry up and give them the money they want they will pull away, have to focus their attention on making money (since YOU aren't helping) and can't give you the same attention as they did before (and it is all your fault). They will accuse you of not believing in them, trusting them, loving them, and not full-filling your promises. (But they haven't either, have they?) They will offer contracts to protect you, which in reality cannot protect you. If you sign a contact with them, YOU are responsible to pay the debt, they just run. They don't care about their credit! But yours will suffer. And sue them? Now you are going to pay for a lawyer on top of it? And what will you get from them? They often have NOTHING. Even if you win the lawsuit, who will make sure you get paid? It often becomes a CIVIL, not criminal matter, and you wind up with nothing. (If you can even find them after they disappear.

Step 4. When they do get the money, and feel there is nothing else to take or their victim is getting close to the truth they will either vanish out of the blue, or pick a fight with the victim and vanish. Please don't think if you marry this person that it means they are not sweetheart scamming you. Being married to a sweetheart scammer also does not mean they are not married to other people!! (You would be amazed how often this happens!

This story below was sent in and permission given to print to warn others ahead of time so they don't go through the same thing that they did.

All content and images copyrighted by dangersofinternetdating.com and cannot be used without permission.

Internet Dating Gone Wrong Story #5

I Had been writing with "Jeff" whom I met in a gameroom chatroom. We had started just exchanging jokes back and forth and then started writing on a more personal level. He asked a lot of questions, seemed very interested in getting to know me, and I felt flattered. He seemed to really listen to me, and was always quick to write back, which made me feel as though I was important to him. He told me he had tried blind dates and joining groups to meet someone special but had had no luck. He remarked about how suprised he was to have met someone like me in an internet chatroom! Once again, I felt very flattered. He said his computer was going in for servicing and that he may not be able to email me for a while, and I instantly, without thinking, sent him an email with my phone number.

We began to chat on the phone almost daily, and by the second week he told me he was developing some feelings for me, and had to tell me because he wanted to "be honest and up-front about everything, because that was the kind of guy he is". After another week we agreed to meet for dinner. We met at a restaurant at the halfway point between the two of us. He showed up at the place 45 minutes late, looking a bit disheveled, and told me he had come straight from the gym. We ordered dinner, had nice conversation, and it seemed we were both enjoying ourselves. When the bill came I offered to pay my share and he said "No, it was on him". He then went for his pants pockets and realized his wallet was not there, and told me he must have left it in his gym bag in the car. He said he would be right back and went out to get it. After about 15 minutes I started getting nervous thinking he was out there rummaging around trying to find it but having no luck so I told the waiter I was going to look for my date. In the parking lot he was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.

He left me with the bill, and never returned my messages either through email or phone and I never heard from him again! I decided to try tricking him, and set up a new account and went to the gaming website under a new name to see if he would engage me, and lo and behold he chatted with me for a while, and asked for my email address, and started sending me jokes! I realized that this man was trolling this websites chatroom to pick up women, so I went into EVERY chatroom for a few months and chatted with as many females as I could and warned them of the game he played with me so he could not do this to another woman!

Story used with permission

Internet Dating Gone Wrong Story #4

My internet dating experience was one I will never forget, and has opened my eyes to how anyone can get conned. I was browsing through the internet dating sites, and came across a few men that interested me. I was sending emails back and forth to several of them, taking my time to get to know them, and one by one they all fell to the wayside. One was really "all about sex", one lived too far away, and another just dropped off the face of the earth. All except for Stu*.

Stu told me all about himself, how he was divorced and was looking for someone to be a real partner to him. He sent emails regularly, we had many phone chats, and he made arrangements to meet me in a diner close to my home. We met, hit it off, and the romance blossomed. He told me he never felt like this with anyone before, he felt he had finally found someone he thought he could spend the rest of his life with, and I was on cloud 9!

One day I opened my email and my mouth hit the floor, it was from his email address, but it wasn't from HIM. His wife, who was suspicious, decided to do a little "research" on her own to see what her husband was up to and came up with not only MY emails but emails from 4, yes FOUR, other women!!! I asked to speak to her personally, and she agreed. She realized I had no idea he was married, so although she was mad at him she wasn't mad at me. She sent me the emails he sent the other women, and all of us got together through email and by phone and were shocked that this man had conned us all, and did such a good job! His wife left him and divorced him, I never spoke to him again, but have seen his profile still on the major dating sites, so be warned, he is out there!!

Story used with permission

Internet Dating Gone Wrong Story #3

This was the biggest nightmare for me. I met someone through a personal ad they placed on the internet. He said he lived about 20 min away from me, but right now he was on business at another location far away and would be back when the project was completed. We im'd each other everyday, emailed several times a week, and his sense of humor was great, he really seemed mature, just unlucky in love and that's why he hadn't found the right girl yet. We spoke briefly by phone, but since he was out of the country it would have been way too expensive, so we kept it mostly online. Four months had passed, he still wasn't home because the project wasn't completed (he expressed his frustration) and I was dying to meet him. He sent me romantic letters, wanted to read the poetry I wrote, and seemed really excited about meeting me too! One day I sent him an email and it came back as "blocked". I almost died! I couldn't think of anything I did wrong, and was totally flipping out! Why would he block my emails all of a sudden? I went through some of the other emails in my inbox and opened one from an email address I didn't recognize, and it was from his PARENTS-seems he was 17, they were livid, and I was told to stay way from him from now on!

Used with permission

Internet Dating Gone Wrong Story

This letter was written by a woman who had, what I later learned through others, a horrific, yet not unique experience.....................
I was writing to this guy *Dale* (not his real name) through an internet dating site. I liked his profile, and we seemed to have a lot in common, including the fact that we were both so sick of the games, had both been divorced, and had children. We corresponded endlessly through IM, letters and then on to phone calls after two months of keeping it on the computer. I thought I was being really safe and that we had built up an element of trust between each other.

We finally decided to meet at a public restaurant, and we both drove separately, and I was really hoping this would turn out all right. We felt instantly at ease, talked smoothly all through dinner, and had a really great time. He walked me to my car and we agreed to meet again. We had several dates, and I had to go back to my home town to visit my Mom who was having a birthday party for my Dad, and I would be away for four days, and we agreed we would get together again as soon as I arrived home. I returned home and called him, left a few messages, and didn't hear from him for two days. I left him an email, and still...........nothing.

On the fifth day I was on IM and I saw him and sent him "Where have you been? What's up" and what I got was a reply "Is this *Judy* ? This isn't Dale, this is his daughter, Maggie." I said "hello Maggie, your Dad told me a lot about you, is he around?" To which she told me he had been at the mall over the weekend (it was the holiday season) and was trying to break up a fight in the parking lot and was stabbed!! I was so upset, and asked if he was ok! She told me she got the call from the hospital, went to see him and he told her to tell me he thought I was a great person, he really felt he finally met a special lady, and that we had our whole lives left to be together, and that we see each other soon. Then she told me he didn't last through the night, his heart gave out due to loss of blood and he died. I was beside myself and hysterical. I was inconsolable. My friends felt sooo bad for me, but what I did not know was MY daughter had a sinking feeling, so she called his cell phone (from HER cell phone) and left a message saying "Hi Dale, it's Victoria, give me a call back, I am really looking forward to to speaking with you. When she told me she did that I was like "Why?" And she said, I wasn't going to tell you BUT (and she made me put my ear up to her voice mail) listen to this................and I heard "Hi Victoria, its Dale, I am returning your phone call, and can't wait to talk to you either!" I never called him again, and although I don't wish death on anybody, what this bastard did was sick and cruel and inhumane.

Expert Online Dating Safety Tips

Expert Online Dating Safety Tips
When it comes to online dating, there is always the potential of danger quietly hiding in a seemingly harmless profile. For this reason, woman need to use common sense and to keep their safety as the number one priority when meeting an unknown person from a dating service.

This is not to put a damper to joining and surfing the many online dating services available today in the hopes of finding that perfect soulmate. But again, rules of good common sense need to be followed.
In fact, Dr. Robyn DeVal, an internationally recognized marriage and family therapist and relationship expert who has appeared on "Dr. Phil," CBS's "48 Hours" and "Fox News" nationwide, has a list of practical safety tips for woman.
"With the reach of the Internet and the growing availability of online dating sites, the world is literally at your fingertips," said Dr. DeVal, Executive Producer and Host of The Dr. Robyn Show, a web-based broadcast at www.thedrrobynshow.com.
"Who knows who you're really meeting in an online chat room? Safety and protecting your personal information must always be in the forefront of your mind."
The good doctor encourages women to use these safety tips for first meetings and conversations with possible suitors.
1) Spend time on the phone prior to meeting. But, do not give out your home or cell phone number.This way you get to feel more comfortable with whom you're talking to and create more of a "relationship." You may also find out more about the person from speaking with him. But, don't give out your phone number to set up the call. Armed with just a phone number, anyone can find out your home address and other personal information. This can lead to identity theft, stalking, or other unknown dangers. Use an anonymous phone service, like MyPrivateLine.com, which offers a disposable number that lets you talk to strangers without revealing your phone number. Once you feel comfortable, you can exchange personal information.2) Meet in a public place.When first meeting it's best to do so in a public place surrounded by other individuals. This way you don't have to worry about an uneasy or potentially dangerous situation.3) Never get talked into anything you do not want to do or feel you're obligated to do anything.If you feel like you're being coaxed or forced into an uncomfortable meeting or situation, it's best to avoid it. Just say no. Always listen to your gut!4) Do not get in his/her car.Getting into a car with a perfect stranger is not advised. Keep to your plan and stay in a public place for a first meeting. Don't let your emotions or the fantasy of it let you get caught up in a dangerous situation.5) Watch for red flags such as catching your stranger in a lie."Little white lies" often reveal much larger ones. If he will not allow you to call him or won't send any pictures, this may be a sign of a potential fraud! Ask him straight out if he is married and about his children and living situation. If he starts off a friendship with lies, odds are it will continue that way.6) Ask for several recent pictures before you meet.This way you know whom you're actually meeting. You don't want to find out the picture you saw online was from five years ago. Providing recent pictures also shows more honesty.7) Let someone know where and when you are meeting and anything you do know about him.This way if there is a problem, people know where you are, whom you're with, and when you're expected home. It will also be easier to create an exit strategy, if need be.

All content and images copyrighted by dangersofinternetdating.com and cannot be used without permission.