Scam Victims Story - Gerald Allen

A reader recently sent us their story dealing with a Nigerian scammer going by the name of Gerald Allen:
I live in Spain and was contacted August 2009 by a man who said that he was an American/Canadian following my dating advert in germansingles He told me that he was about 51 years old, divorced with an 11 year old daughter, that he was an freelance geologist after having worked as such for many years for Halleburton. At the time of the initial contact he said that he was in London tendering for a contract in Scotland and Norway. As he didn´t get these contracts he then, so he told me, obtained a contract in Nigeria solving an oil spillage. After about 6 weeks of chatting online via Messenger he became very affectionate and declared his love for me and that he wanted to meet me. After about 2 months of having regular online contact he told me that he had left his briefcase with his passport, all his money, credit cards etc. in a taxi travelling from the site and he then asked me to help him out financially which I did. This was followed by a variety of other sob stories which ended in my sending him more money. He sounded always very convincing and although I did have doubts unfortunately I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. I sent him money to leave Nigeria and he said that he was then in London. I tried to meet him in the U.K. 3 times whilst over there but each time something happened as to why he could not meet me. He continued chatting to me for over one year more via messenger. During that time I did not send him more money although from time to time I received more sob stories. Just recently I asked him to come to Spain and e-mailed a Ryanair boarding pass to him. (I had a copy of his "American passport" which was a fake). Needless to say he did not turn up. He told me that at the Ryanair Visa check desk he had been asked for a malaria vaccination certificate (He said that he contracted malaria whilst in Nigeria) which he said cost Pound Sterling 360.--. I checked this out with Ryanair and received confirmation from them in writing that this was not required. I challenged him on this and he eventually admitted that he was actually a Nigerian/South African with a mixed colour Nigerian father and a white South African mother. He asked my forgiveness and told me that he was ashamed of what he had done to me. All in all he conned me out of Euros 20,000.- which he said that he would repay bit by bit. He said that he had not spent all this money but invested it in shares. He also begged me not to report him to the police. He wanted to turn over a new leaf and make something of himself. I don´t believe that this is true and that he will continue conning women out of money. His e-mail address is geraldall@hotmail.com and geraldald@yahoo.com
geraldallen@yahoo.com

his mobile phone no. is 00447035906915 (previously 004470457029 and whilst in Nigeria 2347030884045)

his "Canadian mother´s" phone no. 17802375213 and her e-mail address maryavilla@hotmail.com and his "daughter´s Kimberley" kimberlygrd@hotmail.com

I checked his "mother´s and daughter´s" e-mail out by sending a greeting card via 123greetings which were returned.

Since then he has admitted that he does not have any children and is single.

He told me that his present address in London is 23 Bethel Drive, Newham, London E138BN.

He admitted that the initial 2 photos he sent me were somebody else but the subsequent ones were him (the last 2 were not that different from the initial ones but his "American passport" photo was quite different. (I had asked him for a copy of his passport before sending him more money about 1 year ago getting him out of Nigeria by making up a bit of a story).

Gerald Allens' "Doctors Note" - Nigerian Scam

Here is an email from a "Doctor" (that would never send an email) in the UK (where they have free health care by the way) asking for money (and is not in the billing department). Typical Nigerian scammer email



From: perkingsclinic@hotmail.co.uk
To: geraldall@hotmail.com
Subject: AS REGARDS MR GERALD ALLEN
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 2009 08:58:41 +0000

Dear Madam,

I am writing this mail on behalf of a patient of mine Mr.Gerald Allen who told me you happen to be his wife and hence you are priviledged to this information.Your husband Mr.Gerald was involved in a ghasty car accident on friday in a taxi cab on his way to the airport from Benin to lagos,he was rushed to our clinic in a state of coma,he suffered multiple wounds,internal bleeding and an open wound fracture to his right femur.I and the team of doctors on duty were able to stabilise him and eventually get him out of coma.We had to do everything within our powers to save his life since he was a foreigner and had to go against the hospital policy of treating him even without having someone to stand in for him or having someone to pay for the treatment.Well the next phase of his treatment is to perform surgery for his fractured femur and madam,am sorry to say that we can no longer continue any further treatment on Mr.Gerald unless some deposits are made and the amount for the surgical operation is 6000 euros.I hope that you now understand the situation on ground and perhaps act accordingly,do feel free to write back on any detail that is not clear to you and I will surely explain further on it,do take care and do have a wonderful day ahead,

yours sincerely,

Dr.Akinbola Olawole,(FWACS

Ben Ford - Nigerian Scammer

We received the following email from a reader who recognized a con artist/scammer before it could go any further. She found the photos he was using of himself on an online Italian magazine story. This is what our reader wrote:
He was instant messaging (IM), he asked for my email saying he was having issues with his IM at the dating site (which duh I gave, not sure if he can do anything with it). He kept asking the same question... what did I consider romantic? what did I think of the dating site? "how beautiful I was" messages were mostly questions, asking for my full name, where I lived, what type of work I did, and their stories are always the same: they are single dads, living with a child they adore at home, and they think "I" am so perfect... I started asking him questions about exact location where he lived, his favorite restaurant in the area, and he kept ignoring, and asking the question back at me. Then I made up the name "blue room" said it was my favorite place and asked him if he liked it, he said he loved it, I click disconnect, and therefore did not continue for him to ask for money, but I am pretty sure if I continue the communication game, he will. If that helps get them off the crook biz of taking advantage of women, I'll do it
Here is his first email:
From: Bend Ford <bendford@yahoo.com>
To: X
Sent: Sunday, November 13, 2011 11:22 PM
Subject: My Pics and More about me..

Hello How are you doing Am Ben 48 Years old ,From California , I feel I'm pretty laid back & have a really good sense of humor. I have lots of interests & can carry on a conversation with just about anyone. I'm very creative. Kind of hard to explain, but I love it & it keeps me occupied! I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I'm a Christian & like to sing. I'm not a needy, clingy person, but at the same time I can be very affectionate & loving. I am comfortable in a crowd, but enjoy quiet times as well. I am said to have a great sense of humor and love to make people laugh. I am generally a happy person and once you become my friend it's a lifetime commitment to me. I would love to be in love but am not needy nor desperate.Friendship is the foundation and if love was meant to be, then it will. Am confident and satisfied with the life I have made for myself. Am not looking for anyone to change me but to accept me for who I am. I love to be romanced and to me the little things in life are very important. A card, flowers, an I love you call, holding hands and just those things that let me know that I am important to you. I love to be pampered and I love to pamper my Woman. What you see is what you get. No pretense, no show. I am proud to be a true man .what am searching for someone who is loving and kind, intelligent and adventurous. she will be my best friend, my lover and my partner. she must know how to laugh at life's absurdities and find the humor in things. ...i will be 100% honest and sincere to her but i will like her to do the same for me.i dont want to get divorced/widowed or allow what have happened to me in the past run my chance of happiness...because i will get hurt more and more.....But i know one day i will find my sweetest love ever...Actually understanding matters alot and trust is another thing that goes along with a good relationship and friendship.If you can give me your trust, am sure we can be friends without hurting each other.Although relationship is just like a perfume of which certain amount may delight you, but too much of it can turn you off...i want you to be there for me if am not in happy mood to carry me on i can assure you..you will be the happiest lady on earth.Though miles may lie between us, we're never far apart, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart.No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each others worth,also say My Special Angel.One of my questions is can you handle kindness?K kindness comes from the heart and most people treat kindness as weakness.So if you are looking for a kind person then you need not look any further.I am looking for a commitment.No head games please.So if my Angel is out their you can come to me.and i also believe Nothing good comes easy except by hard work.Hey guess a little about me will be glad to receive a response from you... Ben.. PS. The reader who submitted this info is going to "toy" with "Ben" and see when he asks her for money. Will post further details as we get them. Thanks so much to the lady who submitted this, and to all of you that submit your stories to us to help others from being scammed.

George Nicolas - Nigerian Scammer

From: George Nicolas <colasgeor@yahoo.co.uk>
Date: Tue, Nov 1, 2011 at 9:48 PM
Subject: GOOD TO HEAR FROM
To: X;

Dear X,

It's a pleasure writing you at this very moment. How are you today? I hope you are doing great? I am indeed very grateful receiving your mail. Am so sorry for not responding on time it was due to my busy schedule here with work. Before i proceed, let me introduce myself properly. My names are George Nicholas from Scotland but i live in Manchester England. I'm an offshore platform/Oil platform Engineer working with Chevron Oil Company. Hence, i am mailing right away from our ship in high sea. The nature of my job takes me to places.

Meanwhile, for a long time now i have not been in any relationship ever since the demise of my beloved wife due to my long absence from mainland. Oh! May her soul rest in perfect peace. I registered in this site recently in search of someone who is honest, caring, understanding and above all have a good sense of humor. Again, I’m not here for a fling or temporary relationship but a forever lasting relationship. Moreover, Age, distance and location should not be barriers to her because i don't mind relocating for the right woman. So my friend introduced me to this site in order to meet a good lady for a serious relationship.

As a matter of fact, your profile warmed my heart. You look so cute, decent and with this gorgeous picture of yours, i don't think i have the exact word to express myself at the moment .I am so interested in getting to know more about you. i was in South Africa during the World cup for just 2 weeks, but I promised my self that I would come back as the country was such a beauty not like what we used to hear {negative things} over the news about Africa. Well my second visit was on April during my holiday and I Visited your table mountain & Robben Island, wow what a memorable experience it was, though I still don’t know much about the country. But I got to know that South African ladies are good as regards to marriage, and here I am now chatting with you. Lol.

I really don't believe that distance matters, one can be in the same room with another and yet have no connection, while one can be on the other side of the planet and be close in heart, I believe we live in a "global" world and the entire world is "at our fingertips." So, I don't see geography as inhibiting relationships, but enabling them.

Due to the fact that i do not trust on outward beauty but on integrity and human relation, I would appreciate it if you can tell me more about yourself. I hope you'll give me the chance to get to know you better. Till i hear from you again.

Kind Regards & take care.

George Nicolas.

This is a photo pasted on the just Christian dating site. Greatful enough my instinct told me something is not right.

I have this guys telephone number and when calling him I could hear the Nigerian voice. Please warn all.

Email adds are colasgeor@yahoo.co.uk his mobile no 0044735963279

georgeo@contractor.net

his mobile no 0044735963279

Roselin Desmond - Nigerian Scammer

Miss Desmond contacted me out of nowhere, because I am not on any internet dating site yet that is where she said she found me. Plus, she wrote to me as if I am a male, and I am female. I wrote her one line : "Are you a scammer using the "refugee camp" story?" To which I got this reply. Obviously the scammers don't read why you write. From what I have seen, when you email them and ask questions, they never seem to answer them. When I saved "her" obviously stolen photo, the file name was from an internet site where people submit their photos to have their looks rated. They steal this pictures from anywhere...........
Dearest one,
firstly i thank you for your response to my email. How is everything over there, i believe that you are in good health and that the atmosphere over there in your country is very nice today? Mine is a bit warm over here in Dakar Senegal.

My name is Roselin Desmond i am (24years old) but age doesn't matter in a real relationship so i am comfortable with your age, I am from (Rwanda in East Africa) 5.3ft tall, fair in complexion, single (never married ) and presently i am residing here in Dakar Senegal as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country some years ago.

My late father Dr. Philip Desmond was a politician and the managing director of a (Gold & Mine Industry) in Rwanda in East Africa before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed my father and mother in cold blood. I know that i should have waited for our relationship to last a while before i tell you all this secret, but because of my situation here in the camp, and i don't want to die here, please understand me.

Right now, as i am talking to you, i am the only person alive in my family, and I managed to make my way to a near by country (Senegal) where i am leaving now as a refugee under the care of a Reverend Pastor and i am using his computer to send these message to you now.

Please do not be offended for this message that comes from me, its just that i don't know what else to do, because my situation here as a refugee is giving me a great concern, therefore i will like you to consider my situation as an orphan, and be kind with me, as i am putting the whole of my trust on you without fear, though i don't know who you are before, but i believe that you can not betray it at the end.

I have contacted you because of my difficult situation here in this refugee camp, It's just like one staying in the prison and i hope by Gods grace i will come out here soon.

I don't have any relatives now whom i can go to, all my relatives ran away in the middle of the war the only person i have now is the pastor ( Rev- Patric Devine ), who is the pastor of the ( CHRIST DE SAVIOR MISSION ), here in the camp he has been very nice to every body, but we are not leaving with him rather we are leaving in the hostel, which is divided into two sections, one for the male, and the other for the female.

The Pastors Tel. number is ( +221- 777-303- 178 ), if you call and tell him that you want to speak with me (Roselin ) he will send for me in the hostel. As a refugee here, i don't have any right or privilege to anything be it phone or what ever, because it's against their law.

My love I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place.

NOTE; Please listen to this (please it's a secret, even no one knows about it except the Reverend father that knows about it),

I have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me, which i will send to you latter, because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading Foreign bank which he used my name as the next of kin, the total amount, is $6.7 ( $6.7 Six Million Seven Hundred Thousand USDollars).

So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you. I kept this secret to people in the camp here, the only person that knows about it, is the Reverend because he is like a father to me.

So, i will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone because i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it.

Remember i am giving you all this information due to the trust i deposed on you. I like honest and understanding people, truthful and a man of vision, hardworking and GOD fearing people.

My favorite language is English and i speak French very fluently. Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said i have a lot to tell you, the attached are my pictures. Have a nice day and think about me, awaiting to hear from you soonest.
Your beloved one
Miss Roselin.

Jose Hernandez -- Nigerian Scammer part 2

Jose decided to write yet again to the reader that sent us his hideous email. He got that reader for 700 dollars. And for all you ladies he is talking to, he wrote our reader that he already has a woman in his life that is there with him. (Yeah right). Anyway, here is more of Jose and his stupidity. Glad we could "stain" him a second time lol. Yeah, he went to college...........

From: MJD <midavell@gmail.com>
To:XXXXX
Sent: Saturday, November 12, 2011 2:35 PM
Subject: Re:

Oh! Saw your post.. Yourself and your friend did a really nice job trying to stain me. I am surprised you didnt include on the website that you fell for it? Again, I would say.. I am not a SCAMMER and I belong to a real woman now who appreciates a real man. She discovered the site, but it wont make much difference as she is here with me. I am hoping this new strategy of posting my info online is giving you closure and putting money into your bank account, I advice you continue. Just incase you care to know, I am now in Provo, UT.

Dont bother us anymore.

-Jose.

Jose Hernandez -- Yet Another Nigerian Scammer

This story was sent in by a great lady and reader. She sends us all the scammers she encounters. This latest scammer, Jose, talked to her for a long time through email and instant messages. Then came the money request. He needed it to store his heavy machinery. He needed 625 dollars to store them OVERNIGHT. When questioned, he sent her a photo of bulldozers. Not of him in front of the bulldozers, just a random picture of bulldozers. I guess he thought that was going to prove to her that the heavy machinery actually existed. WRONG!!! Here is Jose Hernandez's initial email, and boy is it a long one.........my commentary is in purple.


Message from Jose
Monday, July 18, 2011 4:39 AM
From:
"MJD" View contact details
To:

Hi XXX,

Good Morning from Lagos.. How are you doing today? It feels so good to hear from you.. I get really busy with work and I hope you'll understand that in future if my response arrives late, LOL.. Thanks for the note and your comments. I want to assume you are aware that Kathy is my only daughter. I would like to ask before writing anything that would make me forget. Hope its not a problem that I have a child? And I am also hoping you wont have a problem accepting us as a package, if we ever end up being together. We all want the best for our kids and all I want is for her to have a happy life and healthy relationship with my special woman. I am delighted about how expressive and straight you were in your previous note. I want a serious relationship.. I am not getting any younger and more importantly, I am tired of being lonely. I have missed so many things you cant get unless you are with a partner and I want to make up with time... I am looking for that special woman I can spend the rest of my life, loving and adoring!

Opening my mail to find a mail waiting to be read from you, brought a smile to my face. I am so glad you wrote and I must apologize for the inadequate information in my previous notes. Reading from you makes me so confident about telling you more and more about myself, my life, my wants, my past and my hopes. (He could have stopped that sentence after the word "myself") Sorry I didn't send this mail before now. I got your mail last night but I was ready to sleep and couldn't respond right away. I am taking my time to write this letter before starting my day, after reading your profile again. Kindly take the time to read through. First and foremost, how long have you been looking online? Any good experience? I havent been on the site till lately when I contacted you. I have made up my mind to take the time necessary, to write a detailed email to you, that's why I am writing this email NOW, making sure nothing will disturb or distract me.. (Is this really necessary? To go on and on about basically nothing?)

I have realized so many things about life and I am looking for that special woman to share these experiences and all that life has to offer. (He kinda said that already several times)In my previous marriage, one thing I learned is keeping relationship matters within ourselves and not seeking other people's (who doesn't feel what the couple feels) advice. (Read: Don't tell anyone about me, especially when I ask you for money) I also believe in openness and honesty. (He may believe in it, he just doesn't practice it) With secrets, no relationship will last. OK. A little about me, I am José Hernandez - Douglas, 6ft 2", blue/green eyes, dark brown hair.. I am a Civil Engineer (Construction). I turned 46yrs young on the 31st day of January, LOL! (Jan 31st, 1965). Your turn, tell me some basics about you. More about your job, personality, etc.. Just random stuffs about you. ("Stuffs" huh? And here you were trying to sound so educated.)

Also, what do you think about our age differences. I am divorced. My EX who happened to be my daughter's mom re-married after our divorce and was involved in an accident which took her life and that of her husband. It was a shocker on me and my daughter. Even though we are divorced, she WAS once the love of my life and will forever remain the mother of my daughter. (Of course she will remain the mother of your daughter you idiot)I was born in Majorca, Spain on the 31st day of January 1965, (thanks for including the birthdate again, we may have forgotten it since 6 sentences have gone by) moved with my family to Duluth, GA immediately after my birth. I later moved in with my Uncle in Jamaica, NY when I was 7 years old; after the death of both parents. I lost my dad when I was 6 years old; he had a heart attack when he was in a surgery. I lived with my mom in Duluth for another year and later moved to NY when she died. I guess because of the undying love between them, she forgot she has an only son and left me in the world as an orphan. She just didn't stay long after his death before she died.

More about me; (Thanks for letting us know Jose, we thought you were going to start talking about someone else. *idiot*) I am a very kind-hearted man and I have learnt (obviously Jose you have not learned how to spell) that in life, the only things I can count on is my creator, my instincts and my woman. (And you learned you can count on women by the mother and wife you obviously couldn't count on?) I have been hurt a lot and hope that I will find the right woman for me. I am very serious about meeting my significant partner and I am not ready for games at all. I hope to meet this special woman I can show love to and spend the rest of my life with. I adore children and care about my daughter a lot. I attended the University of Glasgow, in Scotland where I had my B.Sc Civil Engineering. I am very laid-down (don't you mean laid back Jose? What did they teach you at that University anyway?) and down-to-earth. I am also very old-fashioned when it comes to my respect and treatment for women. I am a social wine drinker but a non-smoker, have a great sense of humor and like to spend time with people and make them laugh. (wow, how unique, someone who likes to spend time with people and make them laugh) I have always memorized this quote and it has happened to be my favorite quote + I believe in it strongly: A man can love a thousand different women, but it takes a REAL MAN to love a woman a thousand different ways. (Yeah Jose, just change it to: A scammer can write to a thousand different women, but it take a REAL SCUMBAG to scam a woman a thousand different ways)

I have lived in Anchorage, Alaska. I have lived in St. Albans NY. I was living in Houston, TX before I had to leave for work in March '08. I have been in Africa since that time for a Special Project. (And it must be special since Jose felt the need to capitalize it.) The Construction of New Homes and Renovating the Old ones for Orphans and Less Privileged. Its an innovation of UNICEF and the Peace Corps for the West African States and financed by the Nigerian Government. The project covers five (5) different countries in West Africa; Ghana, Nigeria, Togo, Ivory Coast and Benin Republic. Funding and appraisal is being taken care of by the Nigerian Government. I should be out of here in less than a month, the project shouldn't take this long but because of some unforeseen circumstances, the whole process has been delayed and its taking longer than anticipated. We are at the last country now, which is Nigeria, and the entire project should be concluded between now and the next two weeks.. (and in two weeks he will send a request for funds)

I am divorced (you said that already Jose) and completely unattached and would be glad if I encounter a woman of high caliber, good attitude, self respect and ambition. (and that will send him money) A woman who knows what she wants and is determined to get it. She has to be understanding and sincere that way a relationship would be smoother. Well, at a point in my last marriage I started suspecting my ex's dishonesty and later caught her in bed with my best friend. (and this is how Jose learned from his experiences he can count on women?)Ever since, I have vowed never to get married again, I did try after our divorce but got burnt (long story). I have been hurt badly and that leaves me with a negative impression about women in general. But my daughter has made me understand that all women are not the same. So, I am all out of my cave now to meet that special woman that is just for me. I do believe in soul-mates. More so, this life is very short and I do want to be happy the little time, I have left to live on this planet earth (as opposed to Mars).. I am afraid of growing old alone when Kathy is all grown and out of the home.. I know for sure, that God has the right woman for me when the time comes.

Kathy happens to be my ONLY daughter now (I thought she was his only daughter the whole time? wtf is he talking about?), I love her so much and I am trying to raise her to be one of the rare breed out there: a humble lady who stands by her words, reliable, reputable, independent, self-confident, knows her worth, loves God, treats people (more especially older people) with respect, focused, disciplined, be playful, be fun, great sense of humor always and be a warrior with a tender heart. As for fun: I like mentally stimulating activities and also I like fun. (He did NOT just write he likes "fun"! Is there someone who doesn't like fun?)I adore adventure-traveling, to feel and research the culture of the countries and learn new things. To just hop in the car someday with my family and drive across the States. I enjoy reading, watching movies, swimming, dancing. I like nature: trees, forest, ocean, mountains, beach, zoo. (Jose felt the need to elaborate on what kind of nature he likes. ugh.) I am passionate about flowers, basically nature! (Enough with the nature already!) I like camping, fishing, cycling, biking, golf, all kinds of sports - like the indoors too, I also like the city life. I take a walk when the weather's mild, but go to the pool with my daughter, or sometimes the beach when it's sunny! (So, to sum it up, Jose likes outdoors and indoors. He likes the country and the city. And let's not forget nature.)


Well, it is said that when a relationship ends and you've tried your best, God knows, it is best to move on, and that there is someone waiting, someone special, until then we have our life to rebuild, to do good unto others, to bring joy, even to those we have left behind. The universe has a funny way of circling and recycling. Its rotating, we can not go back unless it is foreseen. There are no rhymes or reason to love. You either love or you do not. (Jose just cut and pasted a bunch of refrigerator-magnet type quotes and put them all together)I want to fall in love again, I am ready and willing to go into a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. Depending on who I meet and her wants, marriage is a possibility not a MUST. I am looking for someone who is secure, balanced, stable, open and knows what she wants in a partner and in life. I want someone who is not afraid of commitment, someone who can communicate well, both with words, feelings and body languages. Someone who will treat me as an equal and not an object. A good sense of humor, outgoing, likes horses and all other animals too.( And she BETTER like NATURE) A romantic person, someone who is not afraid to cook dinner once in a while! Someone who will walk beside me and not in front of or behind me, someone who loves kids and is able to get dirty one minute and get dressed, to go out the next minute. Diversity, maturity, stability, independence and just all-around, imperfect for the world but perfect for me. (I am so ready to throw up.)

A magic relationship, you know when you are sad, when you feel alone, when the world look out so terrible, when people maim and even kill each other, then you need some place to run away, some place where you can feel safe, there you can feel that nothing, none can touch you, hurt you. (that's what the Police Station is for Jose) Exactly that is a relationship for me. I want a family, a home, full of tenderness, sincerity, faithfulness and above all peace. I want love, of-course lots of love. I consider myself good-looking, I am a nice person as well, at-least the people I have had to deal with on daily basis confirmed that. I am sociable. I am affectionate and romantic, friendly and confident. I am open-minded and cheerful. I am trying to describe myself as much as I can with words (someone elses, the rest made up) so you know what to look forward to if things eventually work out for the two of us..(which they won't) That's my hope and the reason why I am making my fingers dance so much on the keyboard, to the rhythm of my heart!! (ok, at this point, EVERYONE should be vomiting)

I work hard and I want to grow both in my job, personally with my daughter as I have always done and now with the woman that I have been waiting for all my life. I just want to fall in love again and I feel "NOW" is the time, I am done with kids except my partner wants another, either by adoption or who knows? The last time I checked, menopause isn't for men, LOL. (menopause is not a word a male should put in his first email to any woman, ever) I am romantic, humorous, caring, loving and faithful. (You said that already. Like 100 times, in a hundred different ways)I hope to find and meet a lady to fall in love with. (Please, write it ONE MORE TIME so we get it, the first 5 went right over our head)I am clever, intelligent, communicative, honest and ready for commitments but also I would like her to be sweet, faithful, caring, comprehensive, family lover, elegant, cheerful and LOVE KIDS. (Jose also likes looking up synonyms in the dictionary, but what he needs to look up is the definition of REPETATIVE) Its really important because I don't want to put my daughter in any jeopardy or in any sort of danger with whoever I end up sharing my future with, a nice family with strong feelings. I am very responsible, kind, calm, serious (just when it's necessary), confident, purposeful, persistent, smart, honest, modest, loyal, flexible, sociable, sensitive, gentle, cheerful, optimistic, considered responsible and with a great sense of humor. (Step away from the thesaurus and the dictionary Jose, this is an intervention) This all sounds like an advertisement, lol.. but anyway I am a bit.... stubborn - in a good way, of-course! (of course!! You are perfect!)

I would love someone who is fun to be around (most guys like women who are a total drag to be around, but not our Jose!), likes to laugh, funny, enjoys the outdoor, (nature) enjoys going for romantic walks, enjoys looking at the stars at night, and watching the Sunset rise over the ocean. I am looking for someone that enjoys the simple things in life, just like I do. I like to meet someone special that I can grow old with, and that we can always look into each other's eyes in decades and realize that the love between us is just as wonderful, strong and exciting as the day we met. I want to love a woman for who she is, to spoil her, and adore her, and let her know just how much she means to me, by the little things I do or say to make her feel special. While she treats me the same way....with love and respect! I am looking for that special someone that I can spend the rest of my life with, we'll grow old together, loving and caring for each other. Even on our worst days we will still be happy in love and can work through anything that comes our way. We will spend countless romantic days and evenings together, just enjoying every bit of the time we spend together both in person and mere thoughts, when we are not together...(*barf*)

I definitely want to find someone that is stable, serious about a relationship and secure. (He just won't stop, will he?) A woman who knows how to treat her man special. I want to find that person that I can't wait to talk to when not together. Someone I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with, and that feels the same way. I am looking for someone that is down to earth, but can also be spontaneous, someone that likes to travel, likes sports, and loves kids. If you like to dance that is a plus but not someone that is into the club scene. Hope I haven't bored you with this long email. (well Jose, that hope is dashed.)I just felt within myself that: "What's worth doing is worth doing well".. hence the stories and ads, LOL! (number 1, not funny. number 2, Jose did not do it well) I will be looking forward to your version of this note. Don't forget to mention what you want in a man. (as opposed to what you want in a kangaroo) I want a woman that can be confident enough to state what she wants in life and in a potential partner. (Then allow me to state that this email SUCKS) And I hope I have been able to express myself, without pissing you off, in telling you the type of man I am to the fullest. (again, hope dashed)

I wait to hear from you. Well, I wrote this mail and I am sending it right away without proof-reading so kindly ignore the mistakes. (read: I am a Nigerian scammer and cannot spell worth a s*it)
Oops! Now, I need a cup of coffee. (And I need a drink) Take good care of yourself and have a wonderful day!

Write when you can.. This may be too much to put in at once!! (correct!)

Hugs and Kisses, (ew)
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO (really? seriously?)
Love waits, (BIG EW + *Barf*)

-José and Kathy. (Don't blame any of this letter on your daughter. Not like she exists anyway, but if she could read she would slap you silly)